Salesman Balls Pt 4

“That will really increase your standoutability”

“How long will it take to get to Southport from here? (“about half an hour”)
– “How long will it take to get back?”

“Anybody tell me who’s on the back of a twenty pound note?”
– “Washington!”

“We’re just a small fish in a big cog.”

“Some people have similarized Sun City to Virgin, actually”

“But it’s out of kilt with what we’re trying to do…”

“We’ll want some stand-outness”

“Alcazar have just gone bust. Hugh and Peter are going to open separately..
– What, together?
– No, separately..”

“This is really a spring-box for other things”

“You two would die for GNR, which is exactly what we want you to do..”

“It stuck out like a sore balloon”

“Kids get in free for a pound”

“He’s paying the same amount … only less.”

(exec on hearing that a ‘Blues’ version of her client’s jingle had been recorded);
– “Couldn’t we do a’Reds’version as well? … after all, he does sell
paint”

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Salesman Balls pt 3

“Do you have the power to make that decision on your own solusly?”

“They’re a Scottish company – based in Scotland”

“They never know if they’ve heard it audiotorially”

“It’s like an Aladdin’s cabinet in here”

“Ooops.. that was a bit of a fraudulent slip”

“You know, maybe we should just do that K.I.S.S. thing – Keep it Stupid, Simple”.

“It has a double-barrelled meaning”

“I started off as a telly ad.”

“They’re going to have the flag all around the peripheral”

“She hasn’t got a very good ease of explaining things”

“We should use the special offer as a lost leader”

“If that happens, local rates will go up through the window”

“She could sell snow to the Arabs”

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Salesman Balls Pt 2

“As you can see on the audience chart, we’re a lot higher up the pie”

“I wish I could look into my golden ball and tell you it was going to work”

“It’s a misnomer to say more people listen at the end of the week”

“So you can see, we’re all men to all seasons”

“Can you just go and ask lan for some ballpoint figures?”

“If you stopped ten people in the street and asked them if they’d heard of Keith Pattinson, nine and a half of them would say yes.”

“Course you did, man. You wrote it down verbally”

“Is Dave in? (no.) Is he out?”

“They’re all coming in in their full entirety”

“That should throw a spanner amongst the pigeons”

“Can we use the Northumbria Police name, as it would give the ad an immediate stamp of credulity?”

“We mustn’t forget the vagrancies of the market”

“He’s at his desk, but he’s not there”

“I think we may be in danger of milking the golden goose.”

“They’re ‘ust dipping their tongue in the water”

“I can see right up your niche”

“We need to go over everything with a fine toothbrush.”

“Not wishing to shout my own trumpet…”

“It’s not like television – we can’t just add another page”

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Salesman Balls Pt 1

Have you ever been in a meeting where, due to the pressure of the call, the Sales Exec has said something that’s had you bite through your pencil trying not to laugh? Here are some examples of genuine things Sales Execs have said in meetings, or to creatives …. mostly in the UK but some from Australia and New Zealand. Thanks to Paul Borny for reminding me of them… and keeping the file… and to Tim Craig who collected many of them… and to the salespeople I love working with but sometimes trip over their vocabulary.

“So you want to be on air on the 25th, which is arguably next Saturday”

“He’s not very good at articulacy”

“I guess we’ll just have to have the conclusion at the end then”

“Let’s arrange to meet at a convenial time”

“Don’t fax the original.. you may need that – send a photocopy”

“Have I rung YOUR number?”

“We must use everything at our disposable”

“So you see.. it’s more people than watch magazines… sorry, read the television”

“I’ve had numerable clients who have been happy with campaigns like this one”

“Over four weeks, the campaign will have a conglomerative effect”

“The problem is very much a double-edged cleft”

“We now use a sophisticated research mythology”

“The audience per capita head now stands at 621,000”

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Trip to Sierra Leone

Last week I had the pleasure and honour of spending time with a group of radio people in Sierra Leone. I learned a great deal from spending time with them and chatting over curried fish, tasty rice dishes and fried plantain.

People like to think their situations are different to everyone else, but advertising principles stay the same. Generally clients are not INTERESTED in your radio station, and they are certainly not interested in SPENDING THEIR HARD EARNED CASH on your station. What they ARE interested in is investing money to solve their business problems.

That’s how good sales people become successful. By concentrating on helping the client you become a valued marketing partner… not just someone there to sell spot ads. I was once told by a colleague that this approach to selling radio was “old fashioned”. True it’s not a new theory. But it’s still highly effective for those who practice it. Yet still, very few stations actually practice it! Most radio stations and groups try to convince clients to advertise through unfathomable figures that clients often can’t get their heads around.

Many of the Sierra Leonese delegates were complaining that no one wanted to advertise on their stations. That many clients were unconcerned about holding a market position and selling goods, because good were in such short supply that stores sold out of commodities very quickly. Well, there are lots more reasons to advertise… and I don’t think anyone WANTS to spend money on advertising. But Sierra Leone is developing an economy. The successful businesses then will be the ones who already own their unfair share of mind. The sharp and sensible business people know they need to. Advertising is like breathing for a business. It’s when you STOP doing it that you really notice a difference.

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The Team in Freetown, Sierra Leone